My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
