i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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