...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
