I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
