I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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