How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
