somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
