Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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