dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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