I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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