Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This is my gift to your gina
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
