i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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