so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize