I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
