considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
