i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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