I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
