38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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