Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I had to cum in my sink.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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