3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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