So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
