Define "chronic" masturbator.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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