he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
