smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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