I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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