I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize