my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
