tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
