I want to stick my p in your. b.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
