why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Help. Why am I so naked?
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