Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
