Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I would ride that face into the sunset
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
