I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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