So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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