i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
