Pappa wants mamma naked
i think i have herpe
just one?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
