is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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