Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
