Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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