There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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