this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
