I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
