I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
