i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
