you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
