HIV tests are more positive than that guy
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
