shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
