I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
