Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The adults are the big ones right?
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