i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
