after a month anything with tits is on the radar
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
