Don't you send me to vm
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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