if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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