i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
