The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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